Knowing
by HapplessRomantic
Summary: My version of what shuold have happend in 5.5... FINAL CHAPTER 7 UP NOW!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Authors Note: 5.5 in a different light **

**Knowing**

Chapter 1 

She knew; she just _knew._ He knew; and eventually they both knew that everyone will know. They will know what a fifthly, traitorous, cynical man Oliver Mace was, or should they say still is?

They will some to learn how she was set up to be a murderer by him and how he tried to blackmail _him _using her. She was so thankful to his initiative for pressing speed dial on his phone in his pocket when he met that man. Consequently, when Ruth arrived home that evening, rather late as usual, she had a rather long confession from Oliver Mace on is torturous ways saved onto her answer machine. Smiling profoundly, she called Harry and sent him the evidence.

So delighted was she when she heard that he was going to be arrested, moreover when she heard Harry implying how he felt about her on the recording. She had been so imbecilic to turn down another date with the man she had secretly loved and devoted to secretly for almost 3 years. As sleep embraced her, she silently willed him to ask her again…

Back where she belonged only 6 hours later, Ruth danced crossed the grid towards her phone that was pestering her with its increasing ring, she picked it up.

……..

Harry watched discreetly from the inside of his glass shell as Ruth picked up her phone. His heartbeat increased and his face tightened as the colour left her normally flustered face and her body stiffened. She dropped the phone to its handset and stared at it shortly, as unsure whether it was going to some back up and bite her, and the proceeded to advance hastily towards his glass house.

**TBC…. (Please review, I'm really nervous about this fic) **


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope this is ok, it just came to me in the middle of an exam and as soon as I put my pen down at the end to the exam, I could remember it; so I've spent ages trying to remember it, and here it is. **

**I don't own anything. I don't own the characters and I don't own the story line ok????**

Knowing chapter 2

She approached his office at a vast speed, although inside she was so nervous and slightly scared. Speed isn't the only thing that increases when she is nervous, so does her speech; it was normally him that caused it, sending her into an automatic rambling marathon. Bit now it was both her angel and her omen that controlled her nerves and made her hustle towards his office.

She knocked rapidly on the cold door: echoes of her nerves, and entered.

"Harry, I, I n-need to go out, for a few hours…"Ruth managed to stumble through a sentence, staring at that favourite piece of floor that she looked at so often. He looked up at the concern and anxiety in her voice and replied cautiously.

"Are you alright, Ruth? Something's wrong-"

"- How did you deduce that?"

"You knocked" She smiled weakly at his words, looked up for a moment, and then continued staring at the floor. "So are you going to tell me or am I going have to interrogate it out of you?" Her stomach flipped at the flirtatious comment and tried to suppress the indecent images trying to escape in her mind.

"Ruth?" He loved her name, it sounded, so, so poetic.

"Mace" He physically shuddered at the sound of his name but she continued. "He, he wants to meet m-me, alone".

"When?" was all he could manage in account for the shock.

"In about an hour" He was so tempted to reach out and pull her into an embrace at sensing the fear in her voice. But what if she didn't feel the same and he ruined everything? He had to physically stop him self finding out by clamping down on his left hand that had already stared moving.

"I'm coming with you!" he announced a little more aggressively and loudly than he had wanted to apply in that declaration. Ruth jumped slightly at the sudden and forceful break off the un-welcomed science that had wedged itself between them.

"No" she whispered "I don't need you looking over my shoulder all the time Harry, I can look after myself, sorry" She didn't know why she was sorry, in her heart all she wanted was for him to be near her , but her perception told her no. "I'll see you in a bit Harry" and with that last delivery she stepped forward hesitantly and went to lean in. She pulled back before he could lean in and slapped herself mentally for nearly kissing him.

He watched her flow through the door and out through the pods, wishing she would come back and close the last 20 centimetres that were between them only a few heartbeats ago. He stood up and, checking the CCTV cameras, advanced on the pods himself, set to follow his angel.

**There you go, I said to myself that I would post this before my birthday and I have! Please review! I was thinking 4 chapters and an alternate ending (I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here), what do you think? Feel free to give me any ideas and/or criticism/praise for this chapter. Please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Found some free time so I thought I would update it. I don't own anything so please don't sue me. **

**Thankies for H for previewing it: )**

**Chapter 3 **

The soles of her shoes created echoes on the damp pavement as she walked towards the train station. She changed her mind impulsively, deciding to take a cab instead of the hectic and heaving train. She turned hastily, causing annoyance almost the dull commuters; she was totally oblivious to him following her.

He, with excellent skill, whistled for a cab after she had stepped into hers. He ordered the cabbie to follow his colleague in the cab in front. The annoyed cabbie went to argue but hesitated and thought better of it.

After a short while, they arrived at a small, underground car park, a few minutes after Ruth because of the dam traffic. He could hear raised voices coming from afar. The cab stopped abruptly at Harry's command. Flinging a bundle of cash at the driver for the inconvenience he had caused him, Harry closed the door as quietly as it would do so and proceeded into the dark, damp surroundings.

He marched deeper and deeper in until he could hear the objects of which the loud voices were coming from. His anger bubbled at seeing Mace, the man who tried to destroy him in the worst way possible, and longed to reach for his gun, which was in his left pocket, and shoot him, dead. However, knowing it was not Ruth would want; he hid himself behind a pillar instead.

"You ruined me Ruth! I have no money, no job and no friends!"

"I think that you will find, _Mace,_ that it was your fault entirely. You ruined yourself with your sick games and you demonic ways of life."

"Ah saint Ruth, would you do anything to save him? That's all you care about! What wouldn't you do to save him Ruthie?" Harry's heartbeat increased, he hoped that he was talking about him. "Do you love him, is that it?

She just stared at him. _How did he know?_ _Was she that easy to read?_ She would not rise to the bait; she would not play into his hands.

"Would you die for him Ruth? He wouldn't die for you, to him you are just another woman in is care. He doesn't love you…" "_That lying bastard, _Harry thought_, please say you love me, please say it." A _sinful smile played across Mace's poorly lit face. This sent her over the edge of the cliff of amity:

" GO TO HELL MACE! YOU DESERVE EVERY HUMILLIATION YOU GET!" She spat her words at him; never had she felt more resentment towards one man. "GO TO HELL!"

His face twitched, his brow tightened, and he began to laugh; a crewel, metallic sound. His hand reached into his pocket and he produced a hard, sharp object.

"It's a shame Ruthie; I always thought you were such a pretty girl" Commented Mace as he approached her slowly with the glistening knife.

**If you review I will send you a taster of the next chapter….. **

**Please ******


	4. Chapter 4

11:00:41 01/07/2007

**I don't own anything. **

**This took ages to conger up! I'm not so sure that I captured it as it was in my head, but I gave it many draftings! If you're soft like me you may want a tissue at hand. Thanks for reading. **

Ruth crashed against the stone pillar as Mace tormenting advanced towards her. _I'm going to die. I'm going to die and I haven't told him. Oh god, I didn't tell him. _The knife came down. A shot rang out.

"RUTH!" Harry dived from behind the pillar and pushed Ruth away. The knife penetrated both bodies at the same time, one figuratively, one literally. Harry slid slowly down to the ground holding his wound. Harry bled on the out side, Ruth bled on the inside; her heart stabbed, torn, ripped and shattered at this mans' sacrifice for her.

Mace twitched on the floor. Ruth kicked him out of the way so she could get to her "lonely angel". She barely noticed when her knees hit the cold floor with a thud. The pain in her heart had caused her body to double over and end up on a heap on the floor next to the bleeding Harry. She met his eyes.

Pain, anger, hurt…no, she didn't believe the other emotion she saw. It couldn't be, she was seeing things. She pulled Harry into a more comfortable position in her arms. His head rested on her knee and his body bent in a half-foetal position on the cold, damp floor. One of her hands grasped his, the look in his eyes told her what to expect next: the final words. She panicked.

"No. No Harry, don't give up!" He withdrew his gaze from her eyes. "Look at me Harry. LOOK AT ME! Don't you dare give up .Harry? Please. Don't give up Harry please – "Tears began to roll down her face and dripped and mixed with his blood.

Tears began to form in his eyes. _It was time._

"Ruth," His features had softened and his face pallor, a single tear ran down his cheek. Ruth did not think him a man to cry, and raised her free hand to his soft cheek and wiped away the tear, she let hers flow freely.

The touch of her skin on his gave him to courage and power to say what he need to.

"Ruth", there eyes connected again, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest under her palm that rested on his heart. "I , love you. I always have, and I always will", she moved her hand from is heart to his face, not wanting to fell the demise of his heartbeat and so she could caress his cheek. He lent up with all the energy he could muster, and met her lips with his.

"Even in death" At the last of his words she broke down completely and stood up, her sobs shuddering through her body. The piecing scream of the ambulance was close at hand, she did not know who had called them. It cut through her with a sharp knife.

"It's too late" she murmured to herself as she picked up the blunt, brutal, powerful gun in front of her.

"It's too late" Ruth was still crying softly as she raised the gun to the side of her head, and tenderly placed a finger around the trigger. It felt cold against her skin. _I'm going to see him again._

**Thank you for reading, please leave a review. TBC?... It's all down to you……**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Don't" The pain burned in Ruth's eyes, beyond crying, beyond emotion. "Please don't, there's got to be another way"

"He's gone, and he's never coming back" The gun was loose in her hand, the stranger, dressed in an arresting yellow jacket, distracted her. Something mad and ecstatic danced in her eyes – "I'm going to see him again"

"Please give me the gun, ending your own life won't bring him back" Ruth chucked the stranger a repulsed look. Tears began to well up in her eyes again at the shocking truth. _But at least I won't have to live with the pain, anger and regret. _A pale hand, littered with quirky rings, tightened around the gun. Her eyes closed, faced tense.

Who did she think she was kidding! She wasn't a killer! She couldn't kill herself, to give in, fall at the final hurdle. He gave his lie so she could live hers and she was about to crumble and make his death in vain. She was disgusted with herself, repulsed at her own selfishness. The anger at her was nauseating. She dropped the gun and turned around.

The strangers, dressed in florescent yellow, were loading the ambulance. She expected to see the body already zipped up, but the sight she saw was even more disturbing._ Why hadn't they put him in a bag yet? Why was he wearing an oxygen mask? Unless…_

"Mrs Pierce? It is Mrs Pierce isn't it?" Ruth looked blankly at the woman who was addressing her, her eyes flooded with confusion and repentance. "We are taking your husband to the Royal General," _Royal General, why? _"We didn't have time to ask if you wanted to go with him, he needs to get to hospital as soon as humanly possible." _Why? Do people normally accompany the dead to the hospital? _"I could give you a lift there in the paramedics' car, if you want to that is?"

Slow, hot tears escaped from her eyes as she realised and relief came down on her like an angel. Her knees felt week and a hot, sickly feeling moved up inside her.

"Yes, please"

The brown haired lady, who answered to Mrs Pierce, sat in the back of the car. Her sobs echoed through the car, face had drained of all her natural colour and her hair was damp from the rain that had fallen, matted hair plastered to her face. The radio sang out the 2nd verse to "Soulmate" by Natasha Bedingfield:

"**Is it possible Mr. Loveable  
is already in my life?  
Right in front of me  
or maybe you're in disguise"**

Ruth just laughed when she realised what the radio was playing; coming across as a nutter to the paramedic. _How is it that somewhere out there is the sound track to you life? _The tears stopped falling when she went passed Thames House. Shock had hit her. The man she had secretly loved from afar for nearly 3 years, had followed her, protected her, dived in front of a knife to save her, and protested what she had dismissed but so wanted to hear from him, all in the space of a few hours.

The passers-by were oblivious to the historical and phenomenal event that had taken place today. On the other hand, she hadn't joined the service to be recognised and praised; far from it. She was always the underdog, the one who kept from the light, cared for others and wished them the best. Un-known to her, these were the traits that had got her in this mess in the first place.

Her heartbeat increased and her hands closed and fidgeted as she caught sight of the Royal General. The car pulled up and she stumbled out, _blasted skirt!_ Thought Ruth as she straightened herself up and prepared for the worse.

She entered and was nearly knocked from her feet as a man, balding and in a torn suit, he looked like he had lost a lot of blood, was swept pass her by panicking doctors and nurses.

_Wait! _

_Balding_

_Torn Suit_

_Blood_

_Lots of blood_

_Oh God! _

Ruth sank to the floor, people blurry, shaking. _They can't do this to me, to tell me he has survived and then snatch him away again before I can tell him. _

"HARRY!!!!!!!!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This has been a long time coming and after this chapter there will only be one more. I hope my writing has advanced since I begun this fic', please review. **

**Chapter 6**

The voices of strangers filled her confused head. Her mind buzzing and her ears overpowered with sounds.

"BP 40 over 90"

"Dropping"

"I suggest –"

"Excuse me Miss – "

"Broken glass near – "

"-right"

"Ok, I'll sweep it up"

Ruth barely heard any of this as her feet carried her away from where her worst nightmare collided painfully with reality, with brutal force. For once Ruth was not calm and collective, but panicky and ruled by her heart. She pushed and dodged her way endless white corridors in a fruitless search of her injured beloved. She had never dared to admit it to herself before, but there was no argument now that she did not love him, for she was hopelessly, blindly, head-over-her-2-inch-heels-on-her-boots, in love with him.

At last she reached theatre, and, tripping over her own feet, came tumbling down on shards of glass. Her tears were not of pain but of frustration at this obstacle that stood between her and Harry. She had been thrust into this situation just for falling for Harry Pierce. The blood leaked from her cuts in greater volume then her tears.

"Excuse me Miss, are you waiting for Mr Pierce?"

"Erm…yes, yes I am."

"Well, only spouses and close relatives are allowed here, which are you?"

"W-wife"

"Right. Would you care for me to take you to a cubicle to dress your wounds Mrs Pierce?"

"Erm, I don't know. I-I really should, erm, wait."

"I'm afraid that your cuts are very deep and your hands are rather filthy, there may be a risk of infection if they are not seen to promptly. I also doubt that sitting here in pain and risking good health will make your husband appear from theatre quicker."

"Ok"

"Follow me!" the nurse barked, and turn on her heel pompously, and led Ruth away from the doors that shield Ruth from the only thing worth living for.

Three hours and 37 minutes later (not that she had watched the door wih increasing anticipation and fear as every second passed), Ruth, her hands rid of glass and bandages embracing them, jumped slightly when the door burst open without warning and the haughtily nurse entered.

"Mrs Pierce, you ay see your husband now" Ruth was left dumbstruck and nervous, glued to her chair.

**Please review; it is all I ask of you. **


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: **I've really enjoyed writing this story and it should have happened! Alas, it did not. Here is the 7****th**** and final chapter, please review. **

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter and give thanks to, Danni, my friend, and DeskSpook my wonderful beta. **

**Chapter 7**

There were no words to describe the way Ruth felt at this moment in time. Was it fear of rejection, or fear of her uncertainty in his presence? Was it anticipation of seeing of seeing him, or anticipation of knowing he was well? Was her heart racing because of the ordeal that she had been through, or something much deeper and darker, brewing under the surface for years?

Or was it all of them at once? It was all to confusing for Ruth who stood from her chair and took four, well paced but nervous steps towards the nurse. The nurse led her down a series of white corridors she had not taken the time to notice while she was searching for _him._

She reached the outside of his private room and the nurse left her. Ruth caught a fleeting glimpse of her reflection in the window as she reached for the door handle, and pulled back. She had not slept, the evidence of that statement was written on lines beneath her eyes. She thought idly that she would still have been on the Grid, alone probably, with Harry, at this time of night. She felt a sudden pang in her stomach. Running a shaky hand through her messy hair, she entered his room as silently as she could manage, and took her place by his bedside in a solitary chair.

His eyes flicked open and fixed on her.

"S-Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I'll go."

"No. It's alright; we are both trained to sense the presence of another." His voice was as deep and as hypnotising as ever. Ruth's eyes fell upon the machines mechanical arms' that attached themselves to parts of him. She began to fiddle with the bandages on her hands. It was only then that he noticed them.

"What happened?"

"Oh, I – err, fell, on some glass. Outside theatre." She didn't meet his intense gaze because of her embarrassment. She felt her hands burn and looked up to see that he has clasped her hands in his.

"Clumsy as ever Miss Evershed."

"Sssh! You will get me chucked out! I'm supposed to be Mrs Pearce here!"

A painful silence followed, filled with thoughts and hopes on both parties. Ruth broke it softly.

"You sacrificed everything to save me" She whispered

"Yes" He replied bluntly. She still did not look at him.

"Without a second thought?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You know why, because I- "

"- Don't Harry. It will only make it harder to walk away." Rejection was a shaper knife that penetrated him than hatred.

"Then _don't _walk away Ruth."

"I, I don't want to. But I have to. This life isn't made for fools in love…"

"Then let's make it!"

"But what about protocol, honour and respect?"

"Stuff them! I want to be with _you_ Ruth, you"

There was another long silence, Ruth's' head bowed. Slowly but surely, she met his gaze.

"You know, I never got a chance the kiss you back…"

**And that's it readers. I'd like to thank you for reading and all the reviews that I have received, please leave another one as it's the last chapter.**


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